this is a piece with Jamaica Kincaid in mind:
people always say "an apple a day keeps the doctor away" but I saw if the doctors cute screw the fruit; never look down unless their short; play dress up and dance like crazy; don't let anyone tell you what to do; playing sports is the thing to do; wear ankle braces when you play basketball; wear pre-wrap; have school spirit; go to football games; you only live once, make it count; always wash white with white and colors with colors; go to Australia one day and ride a kangaroo; don't wear matching socks; do something crazy; hang out with people you like; make people like you for you; don't ever change, especially for a boy; boys aren't worth tears; tell your good friends your secrets; be careful who you trust; live you life to the fullest; never give up the opportunity to go to the city; go to every part of New York City; have a dog sing like a pop-star and learn kung-foo; eat bread with butter so it will taste bland; laugh at yourself, and never take yourself seriously; always have fun no matter the circumstances; go to Africa and cure a disease; become an astronaut on earth and a doctor in space; never wear a Mets hat always Yankee's; lime green is cool and dull colors are boring; do stuff you like and never settle for less; do your homework; do bungee jumping off the side of a mountain; dress up like a Roman emperor and do the chicken dance; wear a crazy hat and sing a funny song; never listen to anything but your heart; listen to Gaelic music at least once; visit Ireland; be something your not for a day; obsess over boy bands there the way to go; listen to your elders and never say no; meet someone with your same birthday there is someone out there; go down to South America and learn the tango; go to Italy to learn that they did not invent pizza; and then you will soon discover all the pizza place's lie; get a good education; have a great career; become a olympic champion and learn ping-pong; chess is a good thing to learn; tennis is too; florida is the fountain of youth, go there when your old; basketball is a great sport and softball is too; all high schools in shows are fake, they always look too nice; ice cream is the best resort to go for depression; play in the ocean and dive off a cliff; go to a rock concert; learn to row a boat; wear sweatpants all the time, they are the best way of comfort; jeans are the easiest thing to match; pony-tails are your best friend; don't liter or global warming will rise; nikes are the coolest shoes; except for Jordan's when it comes to basketball; have you ever done something you shouldn't?; face your fears or you will live with regret.
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